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There is so much new in my life and my world that I cannot even begin to describe it in a journal entried entitled “brief update.” Therefore, I shall say that I am doing fine. Have fun!
I know, I just journal entried about ten minutes ago, but here I go again! Gonna recap a small experience from the other day.
My girl and I were out at a Denny’s, just chatting and eating and such. Just as we were paying the bill, I made a comment to the effect of an obviously sarcastic “Yeah, that’s right, honey. I just want you for your body. You’re my trophy wife.”
“Crraap. Um . . . sorry about that, honey. *cough* Okay, should we . . . uh, go somewhere now?”
It was funny. Tee-hee! Kay. That’s all. Caio.
Had a hell of a few weeks, but now I’m doing good. The end!
Break a leg to me, all! Opening night of Pirates.
Okay. Tell me what I should do. I REALLY, REALLY want one. I have a credit line through PayPal that would allow me to purchase one. It looks SO COOL! I’ve been wanting an iPod for so long, and I could even take my RvB on the road with this! I’m lost and confused! Is it worth the $400!? HELP ME!
Yeah, I’ve got seasonal depression pushing me real hard right now. As stated in the title, it sucks. Realized how bad I was feeling while I was watching “Who’s Line is it Anyway.” I’ve always loved that show, partially because I’m an improv actor myself. Anyway, I was laughing for two hours straight. Everything was so damn funny. And I realized about half way through, that I was laughing so hard, but not feeling it at all. Laughing, but feeling nothing inside.
Past couple days have been feeling masochistic and self-hating. Other shit happened too. A car wreck that totalled my car but was declared my fault, for one. I still have a $700 title loan on that car, and would have to grab another $1000 to get another car, if I want that. I grabbed myself a bike, and have been getting more exercise anyway. Oh, right, but I’ve been listing off stuff that’s made me feel shitty. The other thing was my ex-boyfriend, who never knew when to not tell me something, telling me about my ex-wife’s romantic history since she left. Pretty much, I found out that I turned her lesbian for about a month, and then after dating a girl (during a time-period I was so heart-broken that I couldn’t eat), she immediately hopped into another long-term relationship, and was with another guy within a month and a half of when she left. I know that doesn’t seem like it should be a big deal. It just makes me wonder if I ever really meant anything to her.
The awesome thing? My g/f. My Seraphim. So cool. Our relationship is very healthy, in that we are both able to do other things, and don’t always need to be with each other to know the other one cares. So I hadn’t seen her for two or three days, but we’d been texting. Yesterday morning, I texted her, and mentioned I felt like shit. Last night she picked me up from a rehearsal so we could go hang out, and on my seat was a bag (with a smiley face), addressed to me, saying “I love you,” and filled up with a CD of songs that reminded her of me, a really romantic card, limes and health food type crackers (stuff I love), and hot cocoa. It was so awesome. She is so incredibly sweet. She said “This is the ‘I know Robert feels like shit, but I’m going to do whatever I can to try and cheer him up’ bag.” So cool. I love her so much.
Okay. So, yes, there’s my journal entry. Ta-da!
This creature in my soul that sleeps but never dies;
this fallen angel in my heart that bleeds but never cries;
this pain I feel that strengthens me, this glory so deranged,
my demon that protects me, but slaughters all I’ve gained.
The deep roaring of a banshee that echoes through my veins;
the reverbrating of my shrieks that leaves my mind so stained;
I see black blood, taste poison on my tongue,
and helplessly watch as all my world’s undone.
I.E., I have a temper and I hate it.
Copyright © 2017 Rob Blair Writes