New Year’s Revolutions

1. See the world.
Let the world see you back.
Look into its ocean eyes as if it were
a staring contest with a mirror.
Try not to blink.

2. Eat an entire damn chocolate cake,
not because you need something
to cheer yourself up, but because,
hell, it’s a chocolate cake. Eating it is the entire point.
You shouldn’t have to feel sad to enjoy it.

3. Cheat on a test, cheat on your income tax,
cheat on a class, on your LSATs, your MCATs,
your GMATs, on fat cats—
cheat for fortune, fame, power, or control
before cheating on anything important.

4. Burn a copy of Farenheit 451 in protest
to the censorship of censorship.

5. Throw potato salad at a teacher
during a lecture on dada.

6. Sneak into the apartments of strangers
and write on their bathroom mirrors in
giant lip-stick love letters:
You are perfect.

7. Sing the song of your spirit
and, the next day, hear a perfect stranger
humming the tune.

8. Lie naked next to someone you love.

9. Tell the truth, naked, next to someone you love.

10. Keep on all your clothes and let yourself
just be held by someone you love,
not caring that you feel naked.

11. Buy a bunch of chess pieces online.
Separate the pawns.
Take them to a pawn shop
and try to sell them.

12. Get rejected for a kiss.

13. Write a poem about
how terrible it is
to feel lonely.

14. Ride a motorcycle.

15. Write a poem about
how beautiful it is
to feel lonely.

16. Forgive your mother.
Forgive your cheating ex.
Forgive your former best friend.
Forgive the world for not caring.

17. Forgive yourself.

18. Forgive yourself.

19. Forgive yourself.