In Search of a Fulcrum Point
For those few of you who have been paying attention to these posts, a hearty hello. Yes, I clearly abandoned my last experiment, though the reasons are as much about my circumstances as they are about the experiment itself. I went in for surgery on July 18th, and it’s been a real challenge keeping up on my health goals since. The stress of recovery and the inability to make use of the better of my established habits (e.g., biking to work), in addition to the depression that set in due to this struggle, led to some notable back-sliding.
I’m at a stage in my health where I’m more or less tossing my hands into the air and saying, “I don’t know a damn thing.” I’ve tried taking various philosophical and even oddly sociological approaches, diving at self-acceptance and intuitive eating. I’ve tried the opposite end, with meticulous tracking and self-shaming. These things haven’t worked in a sustainable way, but life is always so damn complex that it’s hard to really hone in on why.
I want to make changes, and I’ve had moderate success with that over these last couple of years. My main fulcrum point was getting into cycling, which helped connect me to my body and built exercise into my days. Now that I can’t bike (estimated opportunity to re-commence biking is currently April 2018), I feel like the machine is broken. No other exercise routine that I’ve found serves the same functions. Biking was joyful, purposeful, malleable, connected me to the world outside, and so on and so forth. I’m eager to get back to it.
In the meantime, I’ve thought through other fulcrum possibilities, and I’ve more or less settled on the next experiment: a radical nourishment change as a hopeful fulcrum. If I can’t get into exercise readily, nourishment is still accessible. I’ve not used it successfully as a fulcrum point for my health before, but I’m hoping that I can find a way to do so. It is far less conditional, after all, and if I’m able to figure out something that works, it could serve as an important long-term asset.